The Two Rules of Marriage

“What’s the secret?” 

I was working my “summer job” at the local Sate Park and one of the guys that worked with me was talking about his upcoming wedding. We had just celebrated our 26^th wedding anniversary. He was amazed. His parents were divorced, as were many of his other relatives. Since he came from a non-Christian background, I was temporarily stymied. Having a mutual faith in Christ is a definite advantage in our marriage, but there needed to be more. I have seen Christians get divorced. I have seen non-Christians live together into old age. That’s where the “two rules” came to mind. As far as I can tell, this is the closest I can come to the secret of marriage. I realize they are not full-proof. People can let themselves become mean and evil. Drug addiction can destroy them from the inside out. They still have a choice. But it’s the best I've got.

Rule #1

“Divorce is not an option.”

If you decide this from the start it will give you several advantages. It will make you choose wisely. If you know you will have to live with him/her for the rest of your life, you might be a little pickier. It will force you to work things out. It’s amazing how people will adapt and change once they realize the mountain is not moving. “‘Til death us do part!” (And no, murder is not an option.)

Rule #2

“Be the first to apologize. It’s probably your fault anyway”

As the man, it’s my responsibility to lead the home. (If that concept is foreign to you, then probably not much else is in this blog making sense, so I’m just going to go on.) It’s a rare occasion that I don’t have any culpability in the problem at hand. I admit it. I don’t listen as intently as I should. I can be about as sensitive as a shoe. Even if by some freak chance I am right, it’s still no reason to go around with an arrogant attitude. Communication is the sap of the tree of marriage. Keep the lines open.

We are sneaking up on our 32^nd wedding anniversary in June of 2014. Face it, a great marriage has been work. But when I think about it, fishing is also work. I’m tired when I get home from a great fishing trip. yet it’s a good tired, a happy restful tired. They’re a lot alike, marriage and fishing. It’s been almost 32 years. And I would do it all again, and 32 more…Love you!