Jaded

 

Merriam-Webster defines Jaded as “made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by having or seeing too much of something.” To be honest, that’s how I have been feeling lately about my fellow humans here on planet Earth. I guess you could say that some days, I’m just not a fan. In the past month I have witnessed more people run stop signs than I can count. (Well that’s on two hands at least, I refused to take off my shoes while driving just to count.) Shoplifting seems to be at an all-time high. No one seems to even know what the “right of way” rule is anymore. Half of them speed, weave, and dart any which way, while the other fraction are 15 mph under the speed limit checking their Instagram. Don’t even bring up the political climate this election year. I can neither confirm nor deny that the words, “If we all get hit by a comet, I think we probably deserve it” have come out of my mouth in the last month.  

This would all be fun and games if it were not for the nagging reminder in the back of my head (yes, the same place my craw is located for those of you who read September's posts) that keeps saying “Love your neighbor as yourself”. It can be quite a quandary. Jaded by my fellow man and loving your neighbor as yourself are not synonyms.

So what is a person to do? Me, I like to get away somewhere that I can, well, get away. This weekend we got to go to Calaveras Big Trees State Park near Arnold, CA. No, bears this time, but lots of fresh air and relaxation. I did lots of nothing. This time on a trip to the town of Arnold to get ice, I casually remarked about the Giant Burger restaurant there. By the time they came out of the store, they were all talking about how they too wanted a burger. Score one for the driver! (Hey, sometimes you just gotta know when to sneak it in.) After a little bit of a wait, I’m really not sure if it was our fault, their fault, or a little of both, but the order got a little messed up and we were short a fry and some bacon for the grandson. Nevertheless, the manager took full responsibility. He not only apologized and made it right, he went above and beyond. Let’s just say the little bacon lover was pleasantly surprised! I needed some faith in my fellow man and the manager came through beautifully. I can guarantee you that Giant Burger will now be a destination stop while we’re camping there again. (By the way, you’ve gotta try the Jalapeño Burger.) Our faith in humanity restored, we came home refreshed, recharged, and ready to press on. (Funny how such a little thing can change one’s perspective.)

Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”. 

Let’s face it, if we look to people, we will be disappointed. We must not forget that Jesus wants us to be the people helping to “recharge” others. If we look for the good, we will find it. We just can’t give up!

What Do You Do When You’ve Got Nothing?

 At the beginning of the year I made a commitment to blog once a week. So far so good. This week has been different. (Spoiler: there may be a lot of car mechanic comparisons so if you get confused, don’t worry, so am I.) Monday felt like an uphill battle, both directions. The rest of the week seemed like someone took everything apart and put it all together just one tooth off. I wasn’t the only of feeling this. There just seemed to be a general consensus of “What the What?” All week. It could be that we are still in the 100s in October when it should be cooling off. It might be just end of the quarter let down. Whatever it is, I don’t like it. All that to say, that when I got to the weekend and it was time to write, I had nothing. So what do we do when you get to “nothing”?

I consider myself somewhat gifted when it comes to troubleshooting. My dad helped me discover my talent. My father-in-law, John Morris, helped hone it as we worked on various cars. So where do we start? Here are a few of the steps I use to find out the problem and work toward a solution.

1.  Is the power on? This sound oversimplified, but it can save a whole lot of headache. Have you got power? Check that the batteries are placed correctly. Is it plugged in? You would be surprised how many times I have solved problems with only one step.

2. Start from the beginning. This is extremely helpful if someone else has been working on it already. Sometimes you need to unplug everything and start from scratch. Assuming that others have done everything right can lead to wasted time.

3. Take a break. Sometimes you just need to step away and work on something else. Your subconscious will still work on the problem for you. More than once I’ve had an Ah Ha! Moment while working on something else.

4. Bring in a second pair of eyes. Have you ever lost your glasses and found them on your hat? That’s what that second set of eyes can do – see the obvious that we can’t.

5. Pray. This man sound trite, but honestly, it probably should have been step number one. God says If we ask your wisdom He will give it. Don’t leave Him out if the equation!

6. Don’t be afraid to get a professional. There are time you may realize that this problem is “above your pay grade”. Time to lose the pride and check with a professional. It’s humbling, but sometimes necessary. Just be sure to take good notes!

Even though this has all been about solving physical problems, there are spiritual analogies for each step.

Have you recharged spiritually?

Are you following the basics of Scripture?

Are you getting proper spiritual rest?

Do you follow good counsel for trustworthy companions?

Do you daily commune with your creator?

Do you need spiritual counseling from a mentor?

We all hit the “got nothing “ barrier at one time or another. The key is that we take steps to not stay there.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 NIV

It's Easier to Ask Forgiveness?

 Welcome back to “things that get stuck in my craw” volume 2. The phrase, It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission  has bothered me from day one. It’s arrogant, selfish, and down-right lazy. It smacks of “I don’t care about you enough to plan ahead or even consider how you or others feel. It’s typically used to justify getting or doing something without having to do the work of checking it out first. I have seen many a good fishing hole shut down because no one was considerate enough to ask first. It’s an easy way to get a temporary desire, but a terrible way to build trust.

So where did this less-than-desirable phrase come from anyway? Turns out, it really is a bad interpretation of the phrase, Ask forgiveness, not permission. This has been attributed to Admiral Grace Hopper

Grace Hopper an American computer scientist, mathematician, and United States Navy 

rear admiral. She was a pioneer of computer programming. Hopper was the first to devise 

the theory of machine-independent programming languages, and used this theory to develop

the FLOW-MATIC programming language and COBOL, an early high-level programming language still in use today.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper  

 Quite an amazing woman, really. But what did she really mean by it? She explains it as, Do the right thing within the organization, whether or not they know it. That way you can help the people that you work for. You see the military has many levels of bureaucracy, some of which are frustratingly slow. She was trying to get people to look past all the red tape and do the right thing. https://changelog.com/posts/what-admiral-grace-hopper-really-meant

So how did it get so convoluted? Human nature I suspect. We seem to always be looking for the easy way out. We take something good or reasonable and use it for our own devices. So what does the Bible have to say about it?

2 Timothy 2:15 says, Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

The apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.

Seems to me, if we are going to do the right thing in the eyes of man, we need to take the high road a lot more often. It’s going to take more than just an apology. It’s going to mean asking permission occasionally.

Snitches Get Stitches?!

 Have you ever had something that you just can’t get out of your mind? It hangs there in the back of your brain like a chicken string in-between your teeth. You know, the kind you have to saw out with dental floss. Where I grew up it’s called, “having something stuck in your craw”. That how I feel about the phrase, “snitches get stitches”.

I guess part of the problem resides in knowing the difference between letting someone know about a problem or injustice that needs to be righted, and a tattle-tale. A tattle-tale’s main motivation is to get someone else in trouble, either because of revenge or to draw attention away from themselves. The real motive is selfishness. This is the total opposite of informing authority (parent, teacher, police, whatever) because someone or their property is at risk. The motivation of the informer is to protect, or stop injustice.

So why would someone not say anything? I think the main reason is fear. It could be fear of being labeled as a tattle-tale or fear of retaliation. We live in a society where revenge is a real thing, and sometimes even celebrated by some. We see it in movies; it’s dramatized in police shows. But what is God’s view on this?

The Bible says in Philippians 2:3-4 that we should “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”. James tells us “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” (2:14-17) If it’s that important to the way a Christian should act, It follows that God can also protect use as we do the right thing.

History tells us the same thing. You may remember the quote: "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing". No one really know who said it, but President John F. Kennedy famously attributed the quote to Edmund Burke, an 18th-century Irish philosopher and statesman. Burke or not, history is riddled with times when silence caused great distress and people standing up helped pave the way for change. Too many times people just looked away because “they didn’t want to get involved”. The Holocaust, American racial atrocities, and reports of world genocide are just a few examples. 

So what will you choose? Myself I would rather be persecuted for standing in the gap and doing what’s right than cowering in a dark corner as a coward. But hey, I’ve made my choice.

Is Christianity a Crutch?

I have had a few acquaintances that have told me they thought Christianity was just a crutch. So this week I have decided to ruminate about this idea for a little bit. 

A crutch  in this instance is a device to help us stand or walk without falling. In this case I’m going to visualize a cane. The most common use of a cane is to help someone who has trouble walking. In this sense, I say yes they are comparable. I chose to become a Christ follower because I knew I couldn’t do it myself. He holds me up. I know it’s not politically correct, but we are broken. Without Him, I’m going nowhere fast. Truthfully, it’s more like a wheelchair. I’m nothing without him. 

A cane can be used to help pull others out of a bad situation, quicksand, a canal. Hey, let your imagination run wild. Again not a bad idea. 

Other people use canes to hit people, pets, or whatever. Some Christian seem to use Christianity in a like manner. Yet it was never intended to be a club. 

Then there are those who view canes as a fashion statement. They feel it makes them look sophisticated, more important than they really are. Again, I know people that view Christianity in the same way. So what is your “Christianity” to you? We can’t do it by ourselves. But are you also helping others? I hope so. 

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Why Doesn’t God Do Something?

Have you ever wondered why God doesn’t immediately punish evil doers? Why does He let their deeds continue and sometimes even be covered up?

I think it may be rooted in the notion that, even though we may do some wrong things now and then, we look at ourselves as not as bad as “those others”. I mean, 5 miles over the speed limit is not that bad. At least I wasn’t racing. It’s only human to categorize and rank sins. But to God, disobedience is disobedience. Jesus explained in Matthew 5:27 that even thinking about an adultery and doing it were both grievously offensive.

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’

 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully

has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:27-28

So why not immediate justice?

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness,

forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness

is intended to lead you to repentance?   Romans 2:4

The truth is, none of use deserve any mercy. We all deserve to be judged & prosecuted, and sent to punishment as soon as we become offenders. But God desires a relationship with us. He gives us a chance to realize our actions and either repent or reject. And that takes time. There will be a “payday someday”, but God’s patience is intended to lead us to him.

When I was young I thought that God had a club or lightning bolt and was just waiting for me to step out of line. I’m not sure where I got this image. It wasn’t from my parents, nor from scripture. What I have noticed is that when God wants to get my attention, He does something good. If things aren’t going right, I might think that I deserve it. But when God does something very good, it really makes me stop and reflect. It draws me to Him.

So instead if fretting over other’s unpunished evil deeds, thank God for his patience, mercy, and grace.

What Was the Question?

One of my crazy college friends recently posted this.

My teacher once went around the room giving us a problem to solve. She said, "Eddie, tell me something you are not good at using the letter "N"." I said, "Spelling."

On the surface, it may seem kind of confusing. Well, unless you know him. Then you just kind shrug your shoulders, turn it sideways, and finally decide that he was serious. I mean there is an ‘N” in spelling. As a teacher, it makes total sense. He answered the question, just not in the way the teacher intended. It actually happens pretty often. Most of the time the fault rests with the actual question. I have seen many test questions that on the surface are fine but can truly be quite ambiguous.

Math question during Covid:

23 students are at the beach. 34 more students come. How may students are at the beach?          

Answer:  Too many for Covid 19

I mean they’re not wrong…

Last week on a test I asked a question about possible interactions of two environmental factors. What I hadn’t planned for was one student’s answer of “they might not interact”. Touché! He got the points.

One of the best classes I have ever taken in college was Tests & Measurements with Miss Pohl. It taught us about using data, how to display it, and even how it is often manipulated. Yet for me, the most productive part was learning how to write clear, pointed, unambiguous questions to measure what had been learned. Too many times we ask questions that don’t really reveal what we are looking to find. We also need to carefully analyze the answers we are given. Often, they are more telling than they seem on the surface.

It’s the same with rhetorical questions. Parents & teachers often ask, “What were you thinking?”. Focus on the answer. It might just make sense in a youthful convoluted way. It may not have been what we wanted, but usually there is a solid thought process going on.

So how can we help others communicate with us? Here are some suggestions.

·       Think out your questions carefully. This takes work!

·       Repeat the answer back so they know you understood. It may be when they hear it out loud, they realize they need to add clarification.

·       Ask additional questions if necessary to make sure you have their whole answer.

·       Try to see the question from their perspective.

You can learn a lot from asking questions. Just make sure you are asking the right ones!

 “Ask and it will be given to you;

seek and you will find;

knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7 NIV