The last two posts about
stories were looking at timelines that had reached their finale. This one takes
it in the other direction. For some reason over the last week or so, I have
been bombarded with memories of past mishaps, failures, and many the times I
have let people down. They mostly started in the form of dream events. But once
you start rehearsing the past, it has a way of continuing in your thoughts. To
be honest, none of them are the Earth-shattering things that you would think
would haunt your dreams, but none the less, if you dwell on them, they can get
you down. The time in 1
st grade that I led the group in “Chicken
Little” too far to the side of the stage so that some of them were running into
the curtain. (In my defense, I was the understudy so I never really got to
practice.) Or the time the speaker system I had borrowed for homecoming music
wasn’t good enough. Not “being a fit” for the job I was in. The time I forgot some
equipment on a camping trip. Pressing “buy”, and then realizing I had checked
$100 instead of $10. And on and on.
None of these were really
that important. So why was it bothering me? I’ve tried to narrow down the
causes and here’s what I came up with.
1. It is a direct attack of
Satan because I’m getting too spiritual. Ya, don’t think so.
2. I have some deep trauma
that I need to face through regression therapy. Serious doubt it.
3. It was the pizza. Ok,
could be part of it, but kinda shallow.
4. We are all in a
spiritual battle with the forces of this world, and as long as I focus on
what’s wrong with me, I’m not much good for helping others. There, now I think we are getting somewhere.
My wife and I have a
passion for the homeless and under-resourced in our area. I do notice a
correlation between successes at the ministry we volunteer at and the spiritual
battles we face. We have seen some great life changing stories lately. I really get the feeling that the side of
spiritual wickedness does not like this.
I think the Apostle Paul
went through the same thing. And he had some major regrets. He had persecuted
Christians in Jerusalem and beyond. He had tried to destroy the early Church.
He had consented to the death of Stephen, and was there when it happened. I’m sure
he battled with memories from the past.
So how did he handle it?
Philippians 3:13-14 says: Brothers and sisters, I do not consider
myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is
behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press
on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me
heavenward in Christ Jesus. NIV
Because of God’s wonderful
forgiveness, we are allowed the luxury of forgetting the past and it’s failures
and looking forward to the end of the race that really matters. If Paul, who
called himself “the least of the Apostles” can do it, we can too. Let us leave
out past failures at the foot of the cross and continue ahead to hear that
“Well Done” at the end of the race. The past is past, unchangeable, to be
learned from but not dwelled on. It’s what we do now, today, that can change
those around us and possibly, even the world. Let it go. Press on soldier,
press on!