The Weaker Vessel

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7

Have you ever wonder what Peter meant when he called women the “weaker vessel”? There seems to be a lot of confusing about it. Some try to use it as a way to mistreat women. Some use it to “keep them in their place”. Others just think that it means men are better. A smart man will realize that none of those were on Peter’s radar. Are women weak? Ask them about childbirth. Are women inferior? Try multitasking like a typical woman does. Are they weak? Try messing with one of her children. Weaker only means not as strong as what it is being compared to.

It has been said that behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law. All jokes aside, there is some truth in that. Finding my wife, and convincing her to spend the rest of her life putting up with me and helping me grow both intellectually and spiritually is still one of my greatest achievements.

Calling a woman the “weaker vessel” is not saying that she is inferior to man. Actually it is more the opposite. The Ming vase pictured is fragile; it is by no means inferior. An iron cup is much stronger than a porcelain tea service. It’s also ugly, rusty and you wouldn’t use it for visitors. In this case it’s fragility gives it value and importance. You treat it as a weaker vessel because of its importance. We look at histories great men leaders and often forget that there was usually a fragile, yet intelligent women helping influence decisions in ways that only they can. Anyone who disagrees is deluding themselves. Never underestimate a fragile woman holding a tea cup, pinky out. Many men have, and have paid the price.

My dad had a friend who used to say, “The man is the head of the home; The wife is the neck that turns the head”. He did not mean it in a bad way. He was not talking about a rebellious, brawling wife. He just understood that a good wife can see things that the man doesn’t and in her own “fragile”, and subtle way can keep him going in the right direction.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

What a good woman trades in physical strength (and I’m not sure overall there is that much difference, think brute strength verses endurance) she more than makes up for in virtue, stamina, and finesse.

Weaker? Possibly. Inferior? Not hardly.

Priceless. 

Do I Allow People to Change?

There he was – a Facebook recommendation from my high school days. Some people have changed so much that I struggle to recall who they are. But not him. I’d recognize that face anywhere. He was what you might call, one of the school bullies. Well at least to a geek like me. Handsome, good at sports, he was one of the popular crowd. I can remember it like it was yesterday. There we were in an all-school assembly. He and his cronies were sitting behind me in the next row. Throughout the whole event, they kept throwing pieces of paper at the back of my head. It didn’t hurt; not physically anyway. But I could feel the embarrassment rising as my ear began to feel hot. I felt trapped, like a rat. I really didn’t want to make a scene and tell someone. Back then, snitches got stitches. There was no way I was going to turn around and say something. That would just escalate it. Punching him was out of the question. I only weighed 114lbs soaking wet. His friend was 6’3” and a linebacker on the football team. He was no runt either.

So I took it. I got over it, and buried it along with all the other uncomfortable memories from high school. At least I thought I did, until now. Facebook friend? Ha! I think not. And then came the memories of how I also had been inconsiderate of other people and their feelings. But that was then; this is now. I’ve changed. That’s when it hit me. Why was I not allowing “him” to change? High school was some of the weirdest years of our lives. For all I know, he could be a totally different person. I know I am.

I honestly don’t know if I will ever add him to my Facebook list of friends. My wife says I have too many already, so I have been very selective of late. What I do know is that I need to be more forgiving of past people and events and give them the opportunity to show that they too have grown, just as I have. The Apostle Paul summed it up this way.

 “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14

You, Facebook guy, wherever you are, I hope you are growing better each day. You have my permission.

Why Do We Yawn?

You get up in the morning. You stretch your arms and there it is. Your mouth opens wide, you breathe in slowly and deeply, and then exhale quickly. You might even hear a rumbling sound in your ears. We call that a yawn. In fact, chances are that you just yawned right now because you were thinking about it. Babies do it. Adults do it. Even birds and mammals like our dogs and cats do it. We yawn when we wake up. We yawn when we need to go to bed. We yawn when we are bored.

Yawning is an involuntary reflex consisting of a wide mouth opening, a deep inhalation, and a short exhale. It typically lasts a few seconds and is common when you feel tired, bored, or waking up. It also happens when other people yawn. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yawn)

But why do we yawn? There are several theories about why it happens. One idea says that the body is trying to get rid of excess carbon dioxide in our blood. Carbon dioxide is the stuff we breathe out. Another one saws that it is the body’s attempt to help keep us alert. It’s possible that the extra oxygen we breathe in can help wake us up. One researcher thought it might help cool the brain. For me, I notice is that my eyes get watery when I yawn. Maybe it helps us see better also.  Others think it could be a group signal to tell everyone it’s bedtime. One other theory says that it might help us keep our airway open and help us to be able to swallow and speak easier.

Did you know that yawns are thought to be “contagious”? Try it. If you are someone around you yawns, there’s a good chance that it will cause others to yawn also. Group yawn everybody! It could be that we are showing empathy (letting them know that we know how they feel). Some researchers have noted that some individuals that struggle with empathy also do not yawn along with other people as often. Although it has been used in movies by profilers to check for sociopathic, or psychopathic tendencies, there has not been a definite link established. This is still hotly debated since empathy is a difficult trait to measure. It might be that we just learn to imitate it when we were children. They say that our dogs learn to yawn from us!

Most of us cover our mouths when we yawn. Most likely this is because your parents said that is the polite thing to do. I mean, no one really wants to look down your throat! (We’ll maybe your doctor: and he tell you to say ah.) In the Middle Ages it was thought that you might “yawn out your spirit”, or that and evil spirit might get into you if your mouth was open too long, but we know that was just a myth. Still it’s probably better for everyone if you still cover your mouth when you yawn. Don’t want a fly to get in! Wow, I think I have yawned 5 times just writing this. Empathy? Or maybe I just need a nap…

 

What Would It Be Like to Live in a Castle?

 

In my blog for my grandkids, one of my grandsons wanted me to write about castles. His is going to be imaginary, with a diamond drawbridge, a lava mote and alligators in armor. It got me wondering what it would be like to live in a medieval castle. It is important to note that there is a difference between a castle and a palace. Castle were made primarily for defense, whereas a palace is a fancy living space for royalty.  

Medieval castles did not really come with a standard floor plan, but they do have many parts in
common. Across Europe there were 3 or 4 basic plans, but the surrounding terrain, water availability, and other environmental factors often dictated how they were designed.

The first thing you might notice is the wall around the castle, often called a curtain wall. It was normally made of stone. This wall could be up to two meters thick. It normally surrounded the whole castle. There would be openings high on the wall for windows. Many walls had the toilets built right into them. The waste would usually drop down into a moat. There were usually small, angled, openings in the wall called arrow slits or arrow loops where archers could fire at attackers without being out in the open. On the top of the wall was a parapet, a small wall about chest height where the archers could stand. Every few feet or so were higher sections called merlons, for soldiers to hide behind. There might even be openings called Machicolations that hang out away from the wall where soldiers could drop rocks or boiling oil onto an enemy. There were often towers built into the wall. They served as lookout areas, defensive structures, living quarters, and even prisons.

The only entrance in the wall was the main gate. It was guarded at all times and usually had huge wooden doors that could be barred from the inside. It usually included a gate of iron bars that could be raised and lowered. In most castles there was also a draw bridge that spanned the moat. It could be lifted to stop entry and also further help protect the gates.

The moat was usually a lake or deep pit that encircled the castle. It could be filled with water, or even oil that was lit on fire during a siege. The drawbridge was the only safe way across. Since the toilets emptied into it, it would not be pleasant trying to cross through it.

Inside the castle you would usually find a kitchen, a chapel, and a great hall which served as a banquet room. There could be stables and another fortified area called a keep. These were all housed in an area called the bailey, which was the hub of castle life and also contained shops and possible other living areas.

There was usually some source of water inside the castle. Since a river running under your castle wall could be a security risk, a spring or well would be preferable. If a river was the only option, there might be a secret tunnel to the river so water could be available during a siege.

Stairs in castles were almost always circular due to conservation of space. They always turned clockwise, which favored the defenders stopping soldiers coming up. Although the majority of the soldiers were right-handed, this design would be less of a hindrance to someone who fought left-handed.

As much as it would seem romantic to visit a medieval castle during their heyday, I imagine the smells would be alarming. Common people usually never bathed and the elite may have only bathed weekly. Couple that with the moat, and you realize that herbs, flowers, rose gardens weren’t just for looks. Still, I think they would be fun to visit and just imagine.

(https://www.historyhit.com/facts-about-medieval-castles/)

Short Beep or Long?

 I was paying attention, sort of. I was waiting at a light and already going through my upcoming day. And then I heard it. Beep! It was just a little beep. The kind that says, “I don’t wish to interrupt, but the light turned green. I like those kinds of beeps. They bring you back to reality, but don’t come across rude. It is also the beep that you to say ‘hi” or “over here”. I call it the short beep.

Then there’s the long beep. It says, ‘If your window was down and I was right beside you, I would be yelling in your window”. In text it would look like @#@#*!!*%@. Now don’t get me wrong, I have seen times where the long beep seems appropriate. But most of the time it’s delivered but mean people who just don’t care about being angry, rude, and obnoxious.

I myself am not a beeper. Not because I don’t want to, but because I seem to always forget which car I’m in. In my wife’s car, the horn is activated on the side of the steering wheel. In my car, it’s right in the center. To top it off, my car might honk, or it might not. Hey. It’s almost as old as my kids. When it does honk, it’s this embarrassing underwhelming “beep” that sound more like the Warner Brothers roadrunner than a car. Put me up against a truck and I’m gonna choose the better part of valor and just bow out.

So what does this have to do with real life? Well, if I have a choice, I’m going to use the short beep. Even if someone deserves a long beep, I want to be as gracious as possible. The bible says, "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." (Colossians 4:6) Romans 12:17-18 tells us, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone”. I’m sure there are time that most people agree that a long beep would be fitting. I strive to give the person a little slack. You have no idea what they have just been through. Perhaps they just got bad news about a job or a project they were working on. Maybe they, or a loved one are going through a tough medical issue. I personally want choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. So what will you choose? Short beep or long?

Oh The Humanity!

 It’s that time again. My work at the State Park is winding down and school is about to start up again. This summer I’ll have to admit, I’m pretty worn. I almost let humanity get the best of me. When I’m at school, I work, for the most part, with people of integrity and who are honestly trying to better themselves and do the right thing. The park has been another matter. Seemingly endless days of people who can’t throw away their trash, make a total mess of the restrooms and showers, and often show total disregard for the rules.

I once decided that if I had a superpower, it would be to turn things (including people) on and off with mind control. I’m sure I would abuse it, but it would come in handy. Music too Loud? Off. Student out of control? Sleep. Crazy drivers on the highway? 10-minute car time out. Ya, I would definitely misuse it.

This week for whatever reason, probably because God knew I needed it, I remembered a song that one of my 6^th graders brought to class sometime in the last millennium. It was from Steve Green’s children’s album “Hide Them in Your Heart vol. 1”. It was taken from the last verse of Romans 12. Verses 17-21 say, 

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

 Here’s the song. It’s simple, but hard to forget. It followed me all week.

One of the other park employees and I we talking about it. Making things clean for people that don’t appreciate it. Helping the entitled when they could easily do things on their own. Enduring being lied about because the other person was too embarrassed to admit their own failure. Picking up the slack for another employee who isn’t quite doing their part. It could really get to you if you let it. We both agreed that were not really working for them. We are working for those that deserve a clean park, a nice place to relax. But ultimately we both agreed we’re doing our best because God expects us to overcome evil. So we do – by doing good. And that’s ok. We’ll let God sort it all out in the long run. Today, I’m just, doing good.

Why Can’t People Throw Away Their trash?

After months and months of blaming the raccoons for the torn napkin, the lone chip bag, or the piece of foil that used to hold barbequed chicken, tucked away in the bushes, I have come to a sad conclusion. The animals are not the problem; the people are. Last week we cleaned a campsite that must have had at least 50 or 6o cigarette butts scattered all over the ground. We found multiple beer bottles thrown into the bushes right next to the trash can. (And yes, we have recycling area that no one seems to notice either.) I even found a McPherson Strut off of someone’s car neatly tucked under a small bush – not 10 feet from a half empty dumpster.

The teens & children are not totally innocent either. We often find candy wrappers, squeeze drinks, and other various broken and unbroken toys spread all around. One of the hardest things to pick up are the straw wrappers form the Capri Sun containers. Ant then there are the bottle tops both plastic and metal. I literally could pick them up all day. Rake and area and you’ll find ten more. It’s a never-ending struggle.

I have pondered the reason or reasons for all this mess and here’s what I have come up with.

1.     Entitlement – many people think it is below them to pick up. “someone else will do it.” Aren’t we paying people to clean it up? Isn’t that what janitors are for?”  

2.      1. Laziness – They just don’t feel like walking to a trash can. It is said that Walt Disney counter that it took 30 steps to finish a hot dog. He then put a trash can every 30 feet. People don’t like to put a wrapper in their pocket or bag until they come across a trash can. How pathetic! (https://jvieker.com/the-story-of-disneylands-trash-cans/)

3.    2. Altered Consciousness – I think many of the beer & liquor bottles pile are the consequence of the “one to many” syndrome. One to many beers = “Where did I leave my drink?”

4.    3. Poor Training – Parents don’t seem to spend the time training their children to pick up anymore. It could be that they don’t want to spend the time to do it. It’s just easier to pick up things themselves. Training takes time and work.

5.     4. Selfishness – I can guarantee that the majority of picnickers and campers would never keep the yards at their own house like they leave our parks. In fact, I have seen people throw things on the ground and then later complain about the “trash” that has blown into their yard form elsewhere in the neighborhood. Something just ain’t right!

So So what can we do? Train the employees, children, friends and family under our sphere of influence to think about others again. If you wouldn’t like to have a place look trashy, don’t trash it yourself. If everyone would just pick up the trash that they come across in front of them every day, imagine what a wonderful thing that would be!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

OK, Rant Over. Have a great week!