It's Easier to Ask Forgiveness?

 Welcome back to “things that get stuck in my craw” volume 2. The phrase, It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission  has bothered me from day one. It’s arrogant, selfish, and down-right lazy. It smacks of “I don’t care about you enough to plan ahead or even consider how you or others feel. It’s typically used to justify getting or doing something without having to do the work of checking it out first. I have seen many a good fishing hole shut down because no one was considerate enough to ask first. It’s an easy way to get a temporary desire, but a terrible way to build trust.

So where did this less-than-desirable phrase come from anyway? Turns out, it really is a bad interpretation of the phrase, Ask forgiveness, not permission. This has been attributed to Admiral Grace Hopper

Grace Hopper an American computer scientist, mathematician, and United States Navy 

rear admiral. She was a pioneer of computer programming. Hopper was the first to devise 

the theory of machine-independent programming languages, and used this theory to develop

the FLOW-MATIC programming language and COBOL, an early high-level programming language still in use today.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper  

 Quite an amazing woman, really. But what did she really mean by it? She explains it as, Do the right thing within the organization, whether or not they know it. That way you can help the people that you work for. You see the military has many levels of bureaucracy, some of which are frustratingly slow. She was trying to get people to look past all the red tape and do the right thing. https://changelog.com/posts/what-admiral-grace-hopper-really-meant

So how did it get so convoluted? Human nature I suspect. We seem to always be looking for the easy way out. We take something good or reasonable and use it for our own devices. So what does the Bible have to say about it?

2 Timothy 2:15 says, Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

The apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.

Seems to me, if we are going to do the right thing in the eyes of man, we need to take the high road a lot more often. It’s going to take more than just an apology. It’s going to mean asking permission occasionally.

Snitches Get Stitches?!

 Have you ever had something that you just can’t get out of your mind? It hangs there in the back of your brain like a chicken string in-between your teeth. You know, the kind you have to saw out with dental floss. Where I grew up it’s called, “having something stuck in your craw”. That how I feel about the phrase, “snitches get stitches”.

I guess part of the problem resides in knowing the difference between letting someone know about a problem or injustice that needs to be righted, and a tattle-tale. A tattle-tale’s main motivation is to get someone else in trouble, either because of revenge or to draw attention away from themselves. The real motive is selfishness. This is the total opposite of informing authority (parent, teacher, police, whatever) because someone or their property is at risk. The motivation of the informer is to protect, or stop injustice.

So why would someone not say anything? I think the main reason is fear. It could be fear of being labeled as a tattle-tale or fear of retaliation. We live in a society where revenge is a real thing, and sometimes even celebrated by some. We see it in movies; it’s dramatized in police shows. But what is God’s view on this?

The Bible says in Philippians 2:3-4 that we should “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”. James tells us “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” (2:14-17) If it’s that important to the way a Christian should act, It follows that God can also protect use as we do the right thing.

History tells us the same thing. You may remember the quote: "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing". No one really know who said it, but President John F. Kennedy famously attributed the quote to Edmund Burke, an 18th-century Irish philosopher and statesman. Burke or not, history is riddled with times when silence caused great distress and people standing up helped pave the way for change. Too many times people just looked away because “they didn’t want to get involved”. The Holocaust, American racial atrocities, and reports of world genocide are just a few examples. 

So what will you choose? Myself I would rather be persecuted for standing in the gap and doing what’s right than cowering in a dark corner as a coward. But hey, I’ve made my choice.

Is Christianity a Crutch?

I have had a few acquaintances that have told me they thought Christianity was just a crutch. So this week I have decided to ruminate about this idea for a little bit. 

A crutch  in this instance is a device to help us stand or walk without falling. In this case I’m going to visualize a cane. The most common use of a cane is to help someone who has trouble walking. In this sense, I say yes they are comparable. I chose to become a Christ follower because I knew I couldn’t do it myself. He holds me up. I know it’s not politically correct, but we are broken. Without Him, I’m going nowhere fast. Truthfully, it’s more like a wheelchair. I’m nothing without him. 

A cane can be used to help pull others out of a bad situation, quicksand, a canal. Hey, let your imagination run wild. Again not a bad idea. 

Other people use canes to hit people, pets, or whatever. Some Christian seem to use Christianity in a like manner. Yet it was never intended to be a club. 

Then there are those who view canes as a fashion statement. They feel it makes them look sophisticated, more important than they really are. Again, I know people that view Christianity in the same way. So what is your “Christianity” to you? We can’t do it by ourselves. But are you also helping others? I hope so. 

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Why Doesn’t God Do Something?

Have you ever wondered why God doesn’t immediately punish evil doers? Why does He let their deeds continue and sometimes even be covered up?

I think it may be rooted in the notion that, even though we may do some wrong things now and then, we look at ourselves as not as bad as “those others”. I mean, 5 miles over the speed limit is not that bad. At least I wasn’t racing. It’s only human to categorize and rank sins. But to God, disobedience is disobedience. Jesus explained in Matthew 5:27 that even thinking about an adultery and doing it were both grievously offensive.

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’

 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully

has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:27-28

So why not immediate justice?

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness,

forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness

is intended to lead you to repentance?   Romans 2:4

The truth is, none of use deserve any mercy. We all deserve to be judged & prosecuted, and sent to punishment as soon as we become offenders. But God desires a relationship with us. He gives us a chance to realize our actions and either repent or reject. And that takes time. There will be a “payday someday”, but God’s patience is intended to lead us to him.

When I was young I thought that God had a club or lightning bolt and was just waiting for me to step out of line. I’m not sure where I got this image. It wasn’t from my parents, nor from scripture. What I have noticed is that when God wants to get my attention, He does something good. If things aren’t going right, I might think that I deserve it. But when God does something very good, it really makes me stop and reflect. It draws me to Him.

So instead if fretting over other’s unpunished evil deeds, thank God for his patience, mercy, and grace.

What Was the Question?

One of my crazy college friends recently posted this.

My teacher once went around the room giving us a problem to solve. She said, "Eddie, tell me something you are not good at using the letter "N"." I said, "Spelling."

On the surface, it may seem kind of confusing. Well, unless you know him. Then you just kind shrug your shoulders, turn it sideways, and finally decide that he was serious. I mean there is an ‘N” in spelling. As a teacher, it makes total sense. He answered the question, just not in the way the teacher intended. It actually happens pretty often. Most of the time the fault rests with the actual question. I have seen many test questions that on the surface are fine but can truly be quite ambiguous.

Math question during Covid:

23 students are at the beach. 34 more students come. How may students are at the beach?          

Answer:  Too many for Covid 19

I mean they’re not wrong…

Last week on a test I asked a question about possible interactions of two environmental factors. What I hadn’t planned for was one student’s answer of “they might not interact”. Touché! He got the points.

One of the best classes I have ever taken in college was Tests & Measurements with Miss Pohl. It taught us about using data, how to display it, and even how it is often manipulated. Yet for me, the most productive part was learning how to write clear, pointed, unambiguous questions to measure what had been learned. Too many times we ask questions that don’t really reveal what we are looking to find. We also need to carefully analyze the answers we are given. Often, they are more telling than they seem on the surface.

It’s the same with rhetorical questions. Parents & teachers often ask, “What were you thinking?”. Focus on the answer. It might just make sense in a youthful convoluted way. It may not have been what we wanted, but usually there is a solid thought process going on.

So how can we help others communicate with us? Here are some suggestions.

·       Think out your questions carefully. This takes work!

·       Repeat the answer back so they know you understood. It may be when they hear it out loud, they realize they need to add clarification.

·       Ask additional questions if necessary to make sure you have their whole answer.

·       Try to see the question from their perspective.

You can learn a lot from asking questions. Just make sure you are asking the right ones!

 “Ask and it will be given to you;

seek and you will find;

knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7 NIV

What Is Your Secret? Hidden In Plain Sight.

Everyone likes a secret. It makes us feel special when we know something that others may not know. Who wouldn’t want to know KFC’s “secret recipe”, the formula for Coca-Cola, Ford’s trade secrets, or Mr. Crab’s recipe for Crabby Patties? The list goes on. If we can just find the recipe, the solution, that hidden secret, then our lives will be changed.

The fact of the matter is that most secrets aren’t secrets. They are just good ideas hidden in plain sight. We can often overlook the obvious while straining to find “the answer”. Our new HS Principal, Don Davis shared his “Secret of Success” with our students at our first Chapel.

1. Get to class on time in the morning.

2. Do what the teacher says.

3. Get to your next class on time.

4. Do what the teacher says.

5. Repeat

 

Some secret, isn’t it? It is actually just an often ignored piece of common sense. That what most good secrets are – common sense hidden in plain sight.

 

For our last anniversary, my wife and I took a trip to Bodega Bay. I love the ocean; she loves Alfred Hitchcock. It was a wonderful win-win. While we were there, we stopped by at Jack London Ranch State Park. Mr. London was an interesting enigma to be sure, but he had many great ideas that some would call his “trade secrets”. The funny thing is that he would willingly share them with anyone who would listen. As we toured the house, we were taken to the room where he often slept. Above his bed was a length of twine just within arm’s length, with clothespins every few inches. When he woke up in the middle of the night with a great idea, he would write it down so he didn’t forget it. It was a great system, but not much of a secret. So what secret are you searching for? Victory over a habit? A more powerful prayer life? A more effective Bible reading schedule? Maybe it’s time to get back to the basics. The ones hidden in plain sight – in the scriptures!

Why Do We Say Thank You?

 

Everyone likes a thank you. It pleases us. It makes us feel appreciated. We consider it polite. You hold open a door, “Thank You”. Give a little child a piece of candy, “Thank You”. We are usually taught from an early age to say these words. We often look at it as a requirement or necessity. So is there a chance we can over use it – that it becomes “expected” instead of freely given? I have seen people get really bent out of shape because they did something (usually trivial at that) and the person ”forgot” to say thank you. Never mind the fact that the other person may be stressed, deep in thought, or otherwise distracted. Their silent “lack of gratitude” is often met with a very loud and somewhat haughty, “You’re Welcome!” Seems a bit self-serving and nitpicky to me, but hey, I’m just a country boy at heart. So is a thank you required all the time?

A thank you is really meant for extra, unexpected, or undeserved favors. We thank others for helping us or doing something nice. We thank God because He freely gives us everything we don’t deserve. We should serve Him not to gain favor, but to say thank you. Nothing we can ever do will come anywhere near to repaying what He has done for us.

Does obedience deserve a thank you? No, not really. But it can be encouraging non the less. I don’t really expect a thank you for simply doing my expected duties. In fact I find it embarrassing that we have gotten to the point where people are surprised when you actually do what you are told and complete the expected task. If it’s expected, why would I need a thank you? After all, I am getting paid to do the job. Nevertheless, I will always graciously accept any thank you I get, I just think it’s kind of silly.

The Bible talks about this in the light of us being servants. We can never repay what Christ has done for us. He doesn’t say, “Thank You, He says, I Love You.” We are the ones that should be saying thank you. And we can, by being good servants. (The “well done good and faithful servant” comes later.)

“Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’ . Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”

Luke 17:7-10